Well, we are days before returning to Texas and I have to admit. . .I’m already homesick for Denver. To make matters worse, the kids are excited to get back to home in San Antonio and their friends, and I’m working hard to stifle my annoyance at their giddiness. Luke says he’s not that excited, but he is my empathizer. . .He is the one to comfort and console. Will, on the other hand, has suffered a series of scooter injuries that tonight he cried wouldn’t have happened if we had stayed in Texas for the summer.
The kids are also tired of me driving around Denver and saying things like, “Look there! See that building? When I was a teenager my orthodontist was on the fourth floor there.”
I’m currently drinking a glass of red wine in order to assuage the guilt I’m feeling regarding Will and the self-pity I’m feeling for me.
Actually, I’m sitting on the porch swing in the cool of the evening listening to an occasional dog bark. . .and cars coast into the stop sign and then accelerate through the intersection. I’m enjoying these moments of utter nothingness.
We spent the day at Elitch Gardens, the local amusement and water park, so everyone crashed after a day in water and sun. Through a Denver Public Library program, the kids joined a reading program and every three hours of reading (up to 9 hours) garnered a prize. The second three hours offered the choice of a day pass to Elitch Gardens or a book. The kids did a great job of reading and Luke is half-way through his thrift store purchase of the box set of the first four Harry Potters.
But we’ve started saying some goodbyes to friends and I’m mentally tallying all of the things that we were going to do this summer by somehow slipped by. UGGGGG. I already miss not doing those things even though we literally packed the days with all kinds of fun.
This is hard. . .the pull between the longing to stay here and unite my family with my extended family, and the need to resume the life my immediate family has built in San Antonio. I resent the pull and my self-pity is rearing its ugly head. I’m working to replace that monster with the sense of gratitude that we were able to be here for a month and to see so much family and to do so many different things.
So, I’m trying to concentrate on the good things that we did this summer. I’m pretty proud because I wanted to do this. . .and we did it and even though the kids miss their friends and their bedrooms and toys. . .I think they’d do this summer in Denver all over again. And I have to admit that I learned a little bit more about myself.
1. I like living in an urban setting. I like having things within walking or biking distance. I want to bike or walk to places AND I want my children to be able to do those things too. Marc gained so much independence when he’d ride his bike around here–even offering to ride to the grocery store to pick up something that I might need. And, Luke, Will and I biked to church on Sunday and then to a restaurant to meet my parents for lunch. They LOVED being responsible for their own transportation!
2. I don’t need a big house but I do need something bigger than a “one-butt” kitchen (the nickname our kitchen at the rental house inherited because literally you can fit in only one butt). I’m surprised how easy it is to live in a smaller house with less stuff. The caveat is that everything needs to have a place and when not in use be in its place.
3. I need a front porch with a swing. There is no better reading-napping-night time conversation place than on a front porch swing.
4. I want more PARKS and PLAYGROUNDS easily accessible to my family–and by that I mean I want to be able to send my kids out to the parks. . .on their own. . .on their bikes. I’m going to write a post on just parks and playgrounds around here because they are EVERYWHERE in Denver and we’ve tried to go to as many as possible!
5. Trust timing. . .but know what your inner voice is saying. Oh. . .I’m still working on this one. As much as I’d like to just move everyone here permanently, the timing isn’t right. But, I also need to pay homage to that inner voice saying that this is where I want to be. I’m not sure how this all will work itself out. . .but I’m working on trusting that it will.